Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Listening to someone is sometimes
all the help He /She needs.
Replying well in conversation is just
as important as listening well.
If you know nothing,say nothing.
Most of us have been in a situation trying to provide comfort,
support to a friend. "Lending An Ear"(listening/sharing), can be one
of the most important things we can give to another person. "Lending An
Ear",putting full attention to the other person's conversation about
a loss, financial troubles, marriage discord, etc. Allowing this person to
vent, while we listen, possible offering the human touch such as a hug,
holding a hand, soothing the person's back. In doing this we are expressing
sincere concern in a non verbal way.
While listening, it is important to maintain full attention of
our friend's conversation and mannerisms. If we appear distracted,
the sincerity we want to display maybe interpreted as false feelings.
Along with this, it is important to be careful of any advice or responses
we offer. Sometimes, people mean well, but say inappropriate statements,
without thinking how it would be interpreted. At that time, we maybe anxious
and feel a need to express , but the words aren't right. I have a young
friend whose father had died. A friend made the statement, "I know how
you feel". My friend got upset and responded, "No, you don't know how
I feel, you have never lost a parent". Unfortunately, this other person,
made a statement which he realized wasn't the best thing to say. In that,
situation, making an acknowledgment of a mistake would be appropiate. From
a personal experience,being a widow at age 42, my friends expressed
their condolences, but were unable to relate to me as a widow. For
a long time, I felt lonely as I didn't know anyone at my age had this
situation. We view widows as usually much older than I was at the time.
In giving yourself to comfort a friend, we are reaching out and
saying, "You, are important, I care". Life can be very lonely especially
if we feel an additional emptiness with lack of another human beings
Let Me reach out to you,
you are my friend, eyes red, swollen
from so many tears.
Let Me reach out to you,
I offer a gentle touch to comfort.
Let Me reach out to listen, to
be silent while you share your words
Let Me reach out as your friend
as I know that you would do so for me.
Let Me reach out, knowing that I,
hurt for you and will be beside you
to help you, if you will allow this.