Saturday, June 26, 2010

Belated Father's Day Memory



Last week, my computer was sick and I didn't have the opportunity to post my Father's Post, so it doesn't have to be Father's Day to do so. I talk alot about my mother, but Dad was certainly an important part of my life. Unfortunately, my father is not of this earth. He died in 1986, from cancer. Dad was born in America, although his parents were from Europe. My grandparents became U.S. citizens,although they never learned to speak English. Because of the language barrier, I never had a close relationship with my grandparents. Dad met my Mother in Europe during WW II. After knowing each other for one month they married and came to live in Penn. They were married over 34 years. Dad was like a "bull dog". He was short, 5 ft. 2 in. overweight, was a dedicated provider for his family and a believer in getting education. Throughout the years my father worked in steel mills. Dad bought a tavern to supplement his income when the steel workers were unemployed. My Mother would clean homes for $5. a day. At times we had no car, so Dad would have to walk miles to get to work, he never complained. Dad always wanted my Mother to have her own home instead of renting. While we lived in Penn., he subcontracted and built two homes. Unfortunately, he had to sell these homes due to being laid off from work. After, my parents moved to Georgia, to be near my sister and myself, Dad built Mother a house and they lived in it until Dad died. Dad told my Mother that he wanted his two girls, my sister, Aileen and myself to get a good college education. My parents never had a high school ed. and Dad said he wanted us to have a better life. He and Mother worked extra to help us with college. If I hadn't gone to college I wouldn't have been a Social Worker for 34 years. I owe alot to my parents for having a better life. Dad was a man of action not a man who showed affection. No hugging, kissing, no words of love. He would do things for us or buy things as his way of telling us he loved us. One Xmas, after comming home from college, my Father remembered that the only item I wanted for Xmas was a blue sapphire ring. There this item was in our glove compartment, when my parents picked me up at the airport. My Father smoked and had cancer. We were told he might live 6 months to a year, he lived 3 months after his diagnonis. He was hospitalized 3 times. The night that Dad died at the hospital, he became restless and just before he died, his few and last words were "I love you". There had always been a sad part of my life not hearing words of love or affection, but those final words were what I waited for many years. As I write this post, tears still come to me. Dad loved us, but how important words can be. Throughout my life, I try to tell my family, friends I love them. Sometimes, people can't verbally express love. Remember to tell those you love them as there may be an emptyness if something should happen and then it's too late. My Father's last words will always be a Treasure. Thanks Dad, I love you.

17 comments:

  1. What a lovely tribute to your father. He sounds like one of the "salt of the earth" dads who worked hard for their family and showed their love by taking care of them. So glad you got to hear the words "I love you" at the end of his life, but obviously you recognize that he had been living those words to you and your family all of your lives.

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  2. What a touching and heartfelt post! Thank you for sharing gentle words about your dear father. I think dads, like mine and yours, had a hard time saying the "I love you" expressions out loud. I'm sure it was the times they grew up in. You were so lucky to hear it finally!
    Hugs,
    Coralie

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  3. Your Dad sounded like a wonderful Dad and husband providing for his family. Nice tribute. Glad your computer is working and glad you met the GA blog gals. Hope to meet you at a future tea/luncheon.
    Joyce

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  4. Rose, What a wonderful Father you had. That was so special.
    I am glad you got your computer fixed!
    Kristin

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  5. Oh Rose this is something I know about myself from experience. I think I know what you are saying and feeling. We loved our dads, wanted them to love us and in a way they did - I waited 50 years to hear it.

    Sandie

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  6. Thanks for a beautiful post and tribute to your Dad. Isn't it crazy how hard people work to provide "things" for their kids and all kids really want is to hear those 3 words..I Love You...it could cure the troubles of many a youth I'm sure. Thanks Rose!

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  7. A wonderful tribute to your father.

    Thanks for stopping by for a visit..My yard sale finds were from places that looked like it might not be worth stopping and sometimes that's where I find a lot of my small treasures. Then there are times I don't find a thing. Take care Elaine

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  8. What a great man! Loved the post Rose!!

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  9. Oh Rose, what a beautiful post and tribute to your dad. I'm so glad you shared this with us.

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  10. Rose, this was such a sweet post. Sounds like you had such a loving family growing up. I never had a good relationship with my father...my parents divorced. I have always known that I missed something special by not having a good daddy around. I've tried to catch up on your posts...sorry you've had computer problems. I've been so busy lately that I have gotten behind on reading my blogs and I've missed that, so hope to catch up soon. I'm envious you spent some time with other GA bloggers. I haven't really "met" anyone in this area that blogs..maybe eventually. I did win something from a blog that turned out to be owned by a girl whose father I graduated from high school with! Isn't that a hoot? It really is a small world.

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  11. What a wonderful Father's Day tribute to your Dad....my family was not a verbal family, speaking of loving each other....but we knew how much we loved each other and were secure in that fact!

    Glad you got your computer problem solved.

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  12. That is very profound, Rose. I'm glad that you received your dad's love through his actions and, finally, his words. He was certainly steadfastly dedicated to his family. I felt a bit tearful myself upon reading this. Thank you for sharing. It's beautiful.
    xoRobyn

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  13. You got that right Rose! Doubt is NOT good in weight loss!
    Kristin

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  14. Hi Rose! What a wonderful post, and I'm so glad you got your computer fixed!

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  15. It's a wonderful post. A lot of things about your dad remind me of my own father. He too would never tell me that he loves me, but he tries to show his love in other ways.

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  16. This was a wonderful post and shared so much of your life with us. My Dad was a lot like yours in spending his life "doing for us." My Dad was very loving to us and it was my Mom that had the hard time speaking her love, at least until after my Dad passed away.

    He had a heart attack at the age of 39 (constant smoker) spent the rest of his life very disabled from it, though he still did all he could to support us as best he could. He passed two days after Thanksgiving at the age of 49. The day after Thanksgiving, while cleaning up, my Mom turned to him and said, "You know, I Love You, So MUCH!" and he started crying and said, "Now I can die happy. I've waited so long to hear you say that." (They had known each other since they were about 9 years old) He passed away in his sleep the night after that one.

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  17. Good morning Dear Rose. I am catching up with reading your blog, the back entries since joining you. I have read all of them back to this point and will read more when I can. I admire you for writting such heartfelt family things. Hugs, Gerry

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