Wednesday, June 2, 2010

MAMA MILLIE MOMENTS#2

As, mentioned before my mother came from Europe as a WW II war bride. Mother was a maid at the age of 14. This background started everything. I, think that mother had some obsessive compulsive behavior. With any task, she would go overboard in completing that task. HOUSEWORK was one of her issues. On every Friday, she would start cleaning the house at 4 a.m.She would never use a mop, but get on her hands and knees to wash the kitchen and bathroom floors. I, DIDN'T LIKE Fridays, because you could hear the sound of the vacuum cleaner at 6 a.m. There was no way of convincing mother to change this behavior. If she wasn't finished with the cleaning by noon, she would say"I'm late". I, could never figure out what late meant. She didn't have any appointments nor or special TV program she wanted to watch. Mother continued in this manner until she "slowed down", in her 70's. My father died in 1986. At that time, my 1st. husband and I were concerned about mother's emotional state. She had depended upon Dad. We suggested she stay for awhile until she could decide what she wanted to do with her life and home. I, swear we didn't mean for her to permanently move in with us. But, guess what,she did and I DIDN'T HAVE THE HEART TO TELL HER NO. Mother remained living with me from 1986 until 2006, when she died while receiving Hospice services in my home. Mother, had the pleasure of living with 2 son-in-laws. Thank goodness, I MARRIED MEN WHO WERE WILLING AND UNDERSTOOD FAMILY TIES. in 1991, my 1st. husband was killed immediately in a car accident that included myself and my mother. Mother had bruises, I had a broken right foot ankle as well as a broken pinkie finger on my left hand. I couldn't manipulate using crutches so I had to use a wheelchair. It was a blessing that mother was in my home. She jumped right in and became my caretaker helping me with getting on the pot, bathe times, getting dressed, as well as driving me to medical and physical therapy appointments. This lasted for 3 months. During this time, we became each others counselors dealing with my husband's death. In 1999, I remarried. Gerry, is from Ireland. He understood family loyalties, so there was no question of mother not remaining in our home. It was a blessing for her to live with us as we became her caretakers and I Could give back to mother as she had especially done when we had the car accident. Because of this situation, Hospice offered services in our home, although for only over a month before she died. We never had to place mother in a nursing home, which was always a fear my mother always expressed. I promised her I would never do that placement, but do admit that taking care of an elderly parent was draining. Mother taught me the importance of family and responsibility. She often took the credit for me having a long term (34 years) career as a social worker. She was right! Each week, I plan to share about Mama Millie until I can't think and write. Stay tuned for more stories. Is there someone in your life that has made a significant impact on your life, IF SO, WHO,WHY?



How blessed we are to have that special someone. It's my mother.
She traveled from afar, to an unknown country.
Determined to learn to be a wife and a parent.
She had no teacher, made some mistakes, but learned.
No payment was expected for her role except Respect and Love.
To my special someone. Thanks, Mom.
Love rose marie

12 comments:

  1. That was inspirational. Family is sooo important, and to be able to care for them until the end - priceless. My parents took care of a man who helped raise my dad - Jacob was born and raised in Poland, and he and his wife had no children of their own. During the Great Depression, they took my dad in as a child, because they heard his mom had died when he was 3 mos. old, and his daddy could not find work and was living downtown in charity housing with other street people. Jacob was later known to us kids as "Uncle", and he always seemed like he was 100 years old! He spoke broken English, and after his wife died, Dad took him to live with us until he died. He was not related by blood - only by love that began when Jacob took a baby to raise as his very own.

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  2. Your Mama Millie sure did sound like a wonderful lady. What a very interesting story about her life. I'm sure that she was blessed by being able to live with you and your husbands. I can't wait to read more about her.

    Hugs,
    Angela

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  3. I kind of had the same situation as you did. We had our issues - but she was one of my biggest blessings too.

    Loved your story.

    Sandie

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  4. My mom is very special to me too. I'm happy to be blessed with a wonderful mom, and I'm glad you were too. :)

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  5. What you wrote about is exactly what is missing in today's world and with our youth..My Grandparents lived with us and other family members and died in family homes, not a nursing home. I do understand that sometimes there is no choice but to place family in nursing homes for the best care. (I'm on the board of directors for a nursing home!) However,it seems children don't have the strong family ties and understand the elderly or much about their heritage. Service given and received is a true blessing and how wonderful that you had the opportunity to share special moments with your Mom and also have her to be there in what must have been a very trying time in your life. I'm looking forward to more posts about your family Rose!

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  6. this was interesting to read about your mother. It sounded like you were both able to help each other when you both needed each other; I'm sure she enjoyed staying with you and your husbands instead of having to be placed in a nursing home or some other facility.

    looking forward to reading more memories of her

    betty

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  7. Thank you so much for sharing your Mama Millie. I am looking forward to more of your memories! My Mom died at home as well, under the care of hospice. I went to my parents home everyday and helped take care of her. She was my best friend and the biggest inspiration in my life. I have so many wonderful memories of all the special times we had together. I think of her all the time but know that today, because of your beautiful story, I will be smiling and thinking of her all the more. Thank you!!

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  8. Thank you so much for sharing your Mama Millie story. You actually gave me goose bumps. I had that special someone as well who taught me how very special and important life is.

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  9. My parents did like you did and took in their own parents. (For a little while they had three living with them at once.) Finally, after grandma died--in her eighties) they let my grandpa go to a nursing home, but only because he wasn't eating, had lost his memory of everyone, and would be under the care of my husband--the director of nursing at the home. Grandpa thrived there, ate well, smiled a lot at strangers and lived until he was 91. Meanwhile, Mom and Dad took care of my maternal grandparents in the home. One died at 98 years of age, the other--12 years later, at 97.

    I don't have to tell you that I think my parents are special people, and I also understand how difficult it must have been for you and your husbands to make adjustments in your lives to honor your mother. I hope your child will do the same for you.

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  10. Your mother sounds like a wonderful person....I know you must miss her. My neighbor's mother just died after living with them for 5 years. I'm not sure I am capable of that. Someone who means an awful lot to me is my neighbor and close friend who is about 20 years older than me. She is going to be moving to a retirement place in Florida in a few weeks and I am sooooooo sad about this. I can't even think about it without crying. She's like a mother to me!

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  11. Thank you for sharing this very personal memories of your mother moving in and then becoming a life-saver to you! What a wonderful tale of giving and love shared! Inspirational!!!
    (I've signed on to follow...thanks for finding me, too!)
    Coralie

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  12. My Dad died when I was 17 and Mama raised us (me and 2 younger sisters) by herself with God's help. She took in one of the friends of her and my Dad's whose husband died and cared for her until her death... about 17 years. She was a very special person. When we found out that she had cancer, we (my two sisters and I) took care of her with the help of hospice. One of my sisters still lived with her, the other lived in the house beside her, and I worked in town, so we divided up the days into thirds and took the opportunity to care for her as she had cared for us for so many years. It is sometimes hard, but if possible, worth it I think. Linda Rose

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